


Fractured Light

by Atse Hashke (chabulous)



Category: Lucifer (Comic), Vertigo (Comics)
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-14
Updated: 2016-05-14
Packaged: 2018-06-08 07:04:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6844162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chabulous/pseuds/Atse%20Hashke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lucifer travels back into the Creation. But a few decades later can he find what he's looking for?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fractured Light

**Author's Note:**

> Written some time ago as a part of a writing meme on tumblr. But I just remembered my AO3 account (2 years later) and decided to publish it here, because why not.

He, who sought freedom. He left the old Creation ages ago. He disappeared in the Void, leaving the broken world behind him. The ruins of Silver City, broken stories, unfinished endings and the wrecks of people. Everybody got to play their part in his fight with predestination and Fate spared no-one. There were many that fell victim to his pride. Michael Demiurgos, Cal, Bergelmir, Beatrice Wechsler, Jill Presto, Mona Doyle, Mazikeen, even Izanami no Mikoto. All the allies and enemies alike - their lives downgraded, perhaps as an unintentional result, but as the battle was all his, there was nobody but him to blame.

Yet, Lucifer was not the one who cleaned all the mess. No. Once he was gone, the fate of the living and dead, the fate of the entire Universe was left in the hands of but a little child. Once he got what he was looking for, it was she who was left in the dismal, broken world - trying to fix the unfixable, heal the wounds, redecorate and make space for what was yet to come. And while the young spirit might have bent the rules a little to save the loved ones after the Mocker’s little play, she should never be put to blame for that. After all, she was still a Presence in training.

Nobody recognized her pain, as Elaine hid it behind professionalism. Lucifer led her into the trap he set for her and in the end she was left with no other choice but to take the job. And yet, she was still the one that could not bring herself to inculpate him for all that has happened. Because Lucifer, just like every other being, still had so much to learn, so much to understand. And although he learnt this lesson the hard way, he now knew that the Presence was less free than anyone else.

Back from nothing into something. From countless possibilities into a precise one. From the Void back into the old Creation. Perhaps Lucifer remembered Elaine and knew what price she had to pay for siding with him. Perhaps, somewhere upon a dream, he even felt guilty for what he had done to her. But she was not the reason he came back. After all, the image was blurry, unclear.

There was but one memory that shone ever so brightly. The one person, whose face he could not forget. She, who bathed in his light to be given the fire of his, his name and his nature. She, who made sure not to be forgotten - her passion for him was never-ending, her love was almost painful and her dedication unswerving. She, who had not even once turned against him, but walked by his side until the very end. Finally, she, who had seen past his pride - the one he let inside. His companion and his **equal**. 

He was here, upon the gate to Creation, marked with a scar across his face. A gift from her - for it was the only time she raised her sword against him. The only time she did not agree with whom she called her Lord. He wasn’t able to forget - he was certain that no matter what, he would wear the coat made out of the after image of their relationship even if her words were now engraved into his very being. But she did act upon her feelings, she gave him things to ponder upon.

_“[…] but you will prove yourself a **coward** if you do. A coward and a **liar** ”_

He did not stop her then. He did not heal the wound. He still left and he knew that for her he was no longer there - yet she had to wear his title like a stigma, which always reminded her of the past. Of what they were and what shaped them into people they became later. The shared poisons, wounds that never healed properly and wars fought together.

_“You think that walking away from your life makes you **free** , my Lord? That you can still be born again so **easily**?”_

Lucifer knew nothing about Mazikeen’s present. Nothing more than the fact she chose to stay with Beatrice Wechsler. And it was Beatrice he visited to learn about Mazikeen’s new whereabouts.

***

The woman he had in front of him used to be a waitress in Lux. But it was a long time ago and now a thick layer of wrinkles covered her face. While she would still look charming with a smile, she greeted him with a frown. Her memory was not as good as it used to be, but she would never forget him. Not because of what he did to her. After all she was but a mortal, her life fickle and she could not hold a grudge for what was done to her. But what he did to the woman that was both her lover and her best friend was unforgivable. Where Mazikeen offered him nothing but dedication, he left her behind like a tool that became useless. With a poor substitute for their union. Beatrice could not look at this man without showing her hatred. Yet, she still gave him the information when he inquired.

However, she did not know much. She requested Mazikeen to leave her before she turned old. They could not grow old together, since Mazikeen was cursed with longevity. They both knew it wasn’t their forever and they made a silent vow, so that they would part their ways before Beatrice grows weary. And though she missed Mazikeen, she could not selfishly hold her back, for the Lilim warrior had her own life to live.

What she told Lucifer was that Mazikeen left ten years ago and they never spoke about what was going to happen to either of them after her departure. Therefore, Lucifer’s next steps led him to Briadach the Blind - the half-brother of Mazikeen, the Lilim who was the closest to her.

***

The seed and the rot, the birth and the death. Although Briadach couldn’t see past the beginnings and endings of things, he had an answer for Lucifer.

“Mazikeen has died”

If anything broke in Lucifer at that point, he did not let it show upon his mien. His expression remained cold. The scar across his face - a silent reminder of his hauteur and selfishness, made him look almost proud. Perfect in his stillness, like the surface of a lake during a breezeless morning, unwavered, beautiful and scary. But otherwise, seemingly at peace with itself. He left Briadach attended by his guards.

The light fissures, but it doesn’t shatter. Fractals fall off one by one, as if the rest of them were still held in one piece by some superior force. This vis major that refuses to drop the mask of perfect composure to show all the feelings, touches, emotions towards one person, whom Lucifer remembered. Whom he could no longer imagine his life without. Now, he is put in the situation in which he has to face the future without one he held the closest.

But soon, sensory disturbances appear and although he is aware where his feet lead him, who he is talking to, the events happening around him, he is no longer an active participant. Life is but a background for the tragedy that plays out in his mind, which is now filled with scents, images, sounds, the gentle pressure of her fingertips against his shoulder whenever she was worried about him. It is saturated with her obedience and her faith in him. The vows she made, the breathless moans she let out when he touched her and the reassuring silence when she was there for him - her sword always ready. The warrior with unwavering loyalty. The beauty hiding behind the white mask - she was there for him like she was for nobody else. She gave herself whole unto him, never questioning his methods, nor demanding explanations for his decisions. The woman, his lover, his equal. One that could never be replaced.

And what had he offered her in return? As little as he had to give. Always looking towards the greater goal, towards his final destination - his great escape. His complete freedom. Stubborn and proud, he chased after a utopian meaning behind that word. To escape predestination. But wasn’t it him who shaped his own destiny from the very beginning? Wasn’t he choosing between countless possibilities which lead to different endings? In the end, he gave away the perfect ending of his to chase after the unobtainable ideals. No. He took away her perfect ending in the name of his ideals.

What he gave her - his parting gift, could as well be the death of hers. The title Morningstar only added enemies to her list. Especially after another Mikoto came to this world - from his youngest age fed with stories about his deceased siblings and their relation to the Lightbringer. Was it done subconsciously? Was he really this childish that he only desired the ideals that he could not have and strayed further away from everything that could give him some happiness, safety perhaps?

Now, even though this was her tragedy, he selfishly managed to turn it into his. A solitary star that gave up its light for the only one he would ever marry - he, whom no one would weep for.

Mazikeen managed what nobody ever had been able to manage before her - she made him question himself and his motives. She made him remember, oh, and how she made him fall… Fall and crash, and it was all his fault for he forbid her to follow him through the Void.

He did not realise where he was going until he stopped. The edge of the world - he stood there in aleph, where he could see everything. Not really waiting for any particular moment, for he had no intention to interfere with what was now under Elaine’s rule. 

Elaine’s Voice pulsated through the entire Creation. It found its way and seeped into Lucifer’s body and mind. He became one with the world, just like in the beginning of time. Elaine knows, he thought to himself as he closed his eyes. And the thought was oddly calming. Elaine knew how sorry he was and it was enough.


End file.
